Reflecting Abroad

Thoughts during my Easter Break travels

Thursday, March 24th ~ Budapest ~ 2 months in to exchange, 5 days in to travelling

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. I’ve come to realize that I can never get my old life back. I am so far away from it all now. I don’t have a home anymore, but I would really like to make one. The problem is, I have no idea where. I am really questioning if UBCO is the right place for me. I know that the University of Manchester isn’t quite right either, but maybe somewhere in the middle would work. I just don’t know where. When I get back to Canada I’m going to have a lot of decisions to make. But for now, I am still on this adventure. It’s a little lonely travelling on my own, but I know that all of this will be worth it.

Saturday, March 26th ~ Vienna ~ 2 months in to exchange, 7 days in to travelling

I’m really struggling with who I am and more importantly, who I want to be and what I want to do. The problem is that I really don’t know the answer to that question. And the more I travel, the further away I feel from discovering that answer. I was hoping this trip would help me to find myself, not lose myself. But maybe I just need to completely lose myself before I find myself again.

Monday, March 28th ~ Vienna ~ 2 months in to exchange, 9 days in to travelling

Honestly I wish I could stay here, forever. I’ve actually been thinking about moving here all day. But I realized I would need to speak German to actually be able to live/work here. And also, how can I decide on one place when I have so many more places to see in the world? Then again, I guess most people just stay in one place their entire lives without even thinking about going anywhere else. I just want Tyson and I to live in a beautiful place together and have a cute little apartment and be happy!

Thursday, March 31st ~ Berlin ~ 2 months in to exchange, 12 days in to travelling

Seeing the Holocaust Memorial and the Topography of Terror made me extremely emotional. I feel so awful about these atrocities and how the world let them happen. I really hope nothing like this ever happens again in the world.

Tuesday, April 5th ~ London ~ 2.5 months in to exchange, 17 days in to travelling

I had some interesting dreams last night, all revolving around school and whether UBCO is the right place for me. I dreamt about schools in Toronto, U of T specifically, and I think I decided to go there in my dream. So I’m not sure if this is some kind of sign about if I should go to school there. Not that I want to go there, but maybe a change of scenery will be good. Anyway, I’m definitely ready to go back to Manchester, and I’m excited to focus on getting healthy once I return.

Thursday, April 7th ~ London ~ 2.5 months in to exchange, 19 days in to travelling

I’m missing Tyson like mad and I’m really glad I’m going back to Manchester tomorrow. It’s been really fun travelling and exploring, but I am more than ready to go back home.

 


2 thoughts on “Reflecting Abroad

  1. Not sure if you noticed this in your writing but I did: you started your travels questioning where/what home is, yet referred to Manchester as your home by the end. Regardless of whether Manchester is your place of residence, your place of study, or just a place for now; you should consider it home. I think we attach a lot of meaning to the word home and hesitate to call a place home, like it suddenly means it’s permanent, or unchanging, and that we’re then “stuck” there. Furthermore, if we are moving about and thus don’t have a home, we feel lost and unrooted, kind of like how you were saying in your travel entries. But we can make anywhere our home – it’s up to us. Or, we can consider that the need for a “home” isn’t necessary – that we are who we are, wherever we are, you know?

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    1. Yeah, I actually did notice that! I was slightly surprised when I realized that Manchester felt like home to me. I agree, home is definitely something that has been on my mind a lot lately, and using the word does create feelings of attachment and sometimes, feeling like there must be some special reason why you refer to a certain place as home. Perhaps what I need to realize is what you said, that we don’t necessarily need a home to feel safe and confident and able to be who we are. We can find home in a range of places and don’t need to be rooted to one specific destination. And maybe that is what I’ve been searching for all along: the question of where my home will be, or is, only to discover that I can be content with who I am and what I have without having one particular home.

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