A year ago, I was in a very difficult position. I had just returned home from the trip of a lifetime and had seen my life from a different perspective. It wasn’t just thinking about where I had been and where I was, I was thinking about the future. I saw something different for myself than the path I was on at that point in time. And, I decided to reach for it, by making the decision to change everything.
It was a really hard decision to make. Choosing to give up everything for the possibility of something unknown is terrifying. I was so uncertain at the time, and I questioned my decision every day. I was so scared of what the future was going to bring, and I didn’t know how it was going to turn out. I just knew that I needed something different. It wasn’t that I wanted something different, I needed it. I had to change.
It has been very rocky since then. I knew from the moment I initially made the decision that it was the right choice, but that doesn’t mean it was easy. Every day was hard. But thankfully, things started to fall in to place, and I knew I was on the right path, even if I continued to question it.
And things have continued to fall in to place. It has been a lot harder since I moved to Vancouver and have been adjusting to living here, but I am in a much better place than I was a year ago. I still have a lot of hard days, but there are much more better days than there used to be. I am grateful to have a lot of incredible people in my life who have supported me over the past year. I would not have made it through this year without you and I am so, so thankful to have you all in my life.
The amount of changes that have occurred in my life over the past year are overwhelming, and sometimes it makes my head spin. It is difficult sometimes to come to terms with it all. I think about my life before this decision a lot. I know that I shouldn’t be looking back, but it is hard to leave everything behind when it is all you’ve ever known.
I think I am finally ready to let go of it, though. Though I might not feel it every single day, I am happy now about where I am and who I am and most importantly, where I’m going and who I’m going to become. It has been a long time since I have felt that way and I am not going to let that go. What I can let go of is the past, and look forward to all of the incredible things that I know are going to come. It definitely won’t be perfect, but this life is mine and I am living it for me.
Thank you to everyone that has supported me, believed in me, loved me through this massive transition. There is a long ways still to go, and this is just the beginning. I hope you will continue to journey, grow, and change with me.
Love always, xo.