I’ve recently traded in the hustle and bustle of the city of Toronto for the calmer, slower-paced lifestyle of interior BC – as mentioned in my last blog post. Along with navigating a different lifestyle, I’m also in the midst of figuring out potential career changes. In doing so, I’ve been encountering some mental blocks around ideas of worthiness, success, and happiness. The big question I keep encountering is: can we live a life that looks good on the outside, and feels good on the inside? What happens when it’s only one or the other? On today’s blog, we question, can success and happiness co-exist?

It can be really difficult to navigate a career change, especially when you’re not sure if it’s going to work out. But sometimes, if you’re not happy where you’re at, making a change is all you’ve got. If you’re giving up stability for something that is unknown, it can be really scary. Naturally, it brings up self-doubt and insecurity. These aspects have been coming up for me a lot as I weigh the potential of choosing a path that is more creative, rather than my more traditional 9-5 career. Somehow, it feels like one option is equal to success and one is equal to happiness, and I can’t seem to bring them together to co-exist.

Navigating these potential changes has been taking a bit of a toll on my mental health. It’s been bringing up questions surrounding worthiness, particularly in relation to my career. Questions such as, Am I more or less worthy depending on what I’m doing for work? It seems like such a ridiculous question to ask. But when we live in a society that places value on some jobs and not others, it can come up. Lately, it’s been permeating my thoughts and manifesting as some mental blocks coming up for me – with success and worthiness on one side, and happiness seemingly on the other.

There is this idea that if you have a “good” job, that looks good on the outside, then people assume you are doing really well in life. It may seem like you have everything figured out. But having a “good” job doesn’t necessarily correlate to what you feel on the inside. This is something I’ve been struggling with for quite some time. For the past year or two, I’ve been living a life that probably looks good on the outside to other people, but doesn’t feel good on the inside for me. That’s a big reason why I’ve been struggling with these mental health concerns coming up. I’m not feeling good on the inside, and am stuck wondering why – especially when what I’m showing on the outside should have me feeling good by societal standards.

However, just because something looks good on the outside doesn’t mean it feels good on the inside. It’s very easy for people to get it wrong. Sometimes, people don’t notice when others are struggling, because they put on a good front. But you never really know what someone is feeling inside. We all need to be a little bit kinder to each other, and recognize that what happiness looks and feels like is going to be different for each person. I’m trying to be kind to myself as well, and prioritize the things that actually make me happy.

With that said, choosing to do something that actually brings you fulfillment and joy can be challenging. Especially when it looks like you aren’t “succeeding” on the outside, because it’s not what society would describe as success. For jobs such as being a waitress, a barista, and other service-based jobs, society doesn’t necessarily view these jobs as super “successful.” But, if having this kind of job is something that makes you happy, why does it really matter? Though society’s definition of “success” and happiness can’t always co-exist, I think what equals “success” should be whatever you are happy doing. By using this definition, I believe it is possible for success and happiness to co-exist.

So here’s to living our lives for what feels good on the inside to us, rather than something that looks good on the outside to society. And choosing to create our own definitions of success! When I’m struggling, I try to remind myself that I’m focusing on doing what feels good to me, and not living to please others. It’s impossible to please everyone anyway! At the end of the day, the only person you need to please is yourself. Follow your happy, choose your own success, and stop worrying about what other’s think about your life. It’s yours, and you get to choose how you live it. ❤