Lately, I’ve been feeling that time isn’t on my side. The growing pressure of having everything figured out, especially as we age, seems to continue to mount as I get older. It feels as if everything should already be sorted out and decided upon, rather than having the luxury of changing my mind. With my thirties in sight, I continue to question if I am able to change the course of my life. In today’s blog, we’ll debate the pressure of having it all figured out, and how important it really is as we age.
The older I get, the more I feel an increasing pressure to have everything figured out. It feels as if everything should be stuck the way it is, and I have less freedom to test different things out and change my mind. What a ridiculous idea, that we can’t change our minds… I feel it should be the other way around, and I should have even more freedom as I age! Yet, the more I age, the more it seems I should be sticking to one path. I’m in my late twenties, and the pressure continues to grow, especially the closer I get to 30.
For some reason, the year 30 seems to be the big societal milestone. Pressure from society indicates that you’re supposed to have everything figured out by the time you’re 30. Job, marriage, kids – you name it. However, this random milestone of “figuring things out” is completely unrealistic. It’s also likely untrue for a whole lot of people – I think most don’t have it figured out by 30. In fact, I don’t think we will EVER have things “figured out”, since we are always learning, growing, and changing as we go through time. But, this pressure is so engrained in society, and as I get closer to that age it is something that continues to come up for me.
These concerns are even more prevalent when you are in the middle of making a career and lifestyle change. I’m still trying to figure out where I’m going to live and what I want to be doing with my time, long-term. It’s pretty scary when you are making a big change, right at the time when it feels like I should be doing the opposite. Even though I want to go in one direction, I keep coming up against mental blocks, telling me to change my mind. Telling me it won’t be worth it. But deep down, I know I have to follow my heart. So I continue to stumble forward despite my second-guessing, seeking ways to navigate any mental health concerns that come up in relation to these aspects.
As we all move forward and age, I have a feeling that the pressure of having it all figured out will continue to come up. But we can’t cave in. We’re bound to make mistakes and change our minds throughout our lives. Maybe we’ll never have it all figured out, and that’s okay. We can still find our way through as we grow and change over time. So here’s to stumbling our way forwards and figuring it out as we go – without the pressure of having it figured out allllll in advance.
I’d love to know if this resonates for you, let me know in the comments ♥