The older I get and the more I grow, the more I am recognizing the importance of differentiating between what we want versus what we need. Sometimes in life, we can be so drawn to what we want and feel pulled to chase it. But what we want is not always the same as what we need to be living the life that is truest to ourselves. Confusing or conflating the two can lead to living a life that is out of alignment. Today, we will dive into how to differentiate between what we want versus what we need, and the importance of recognizing this difference to live in alignment.

It can sound a bit lofty sometimes to talk about wants and needs, so we’re going to make this a bit more concrete with some examples. I’m going to take you back to when I was living in Toronto. On the outside looking in, it probably appeared that I had things going pretty damn good. I was living in the city – something I wanted. My job was great in a field I enjoyed – something I wanted. I was in the hustle and bustle, getting to enjoy lots of events, culture, food, and more that come from being in the city – also something I wanted. All of these things were big wants for me, and I had them all.

Despite having the things I wanted, I wasn’t feeling fulfilled, and it was difficult for me to figure out why. I started to dig a bit deeper and think about what I actually need instead. Not just what I wanted on a more surface-level, but what I actually needed on a regular basis to live a fulfilled and balanced life. Two big things came up that I wasn’t currently getting: time in nature and time with family. These two big needs were being neglected, and because of that, I was out of alignment with what I actually needed to be happy and fulfilled in my life.

Let’s do a quick comparison between the wants and needs I was coming up against:

• Being in the city with the hustle and the bustle sounds like fun. It’s a want. But what I really need is to be able to reflect in nature on a regular basis.
• Having access to a wide range of events, cuisine, and life in the city is great – something I want. But I don’t need that many options. Realistically, I only need a few to feel fulfilled.
• Travelling every week somewhere new is super fun and something I want to do, but what I actually need is regular time at home to devote to my routine and my mental health.

Of course, it’s important to note that these needs are going to vary drastically by person! Maybe you are a person that needs the city and doesn’t find nature to be important. Maybe you’re a foodie, and you truly do need hundreds of different restaurant options. Maybe travel is an essential component of your life and you do actually need to get away on a regular basis. It’s so individual to each person, and that’s what I love about it!

However, it’s still important to recognize the difference between what we want versus what we need. I find we often say we need something when it isn’t true, which especially comes up when we look to make new purchases. Do you want to buy something new? Of course, but do you actually need it, or is what you have already sufficient? For example, you may want a new car or a better house, but do you need it? Or is what you need instead simply safety, security, and reliability? Living in a capitalist society, there are many avenues that try to convince us we need everything, when in reality they are mostly a want instead. It can be pretty life-changing to recognize this difference and how it applies to your own life.

As I continue to reflect on my own situation, it has been surprising for me to realize how out of alignment I’ve been living. I haven’t been focusing on what I truly need, and it’s definitely impacted my mental health. I am working on leaning in to these needs more, rather than simply what I want. It might be a challenge initially, but I’ve found that the more I lean into what I truly need, the more at peace I feel. Living in alignment makes such a big difference! I strongly encourage you to do some reflecting on your own wants versus your needs, and structure your life around what you need most. Let me know if you do and what differences you have found in the comments!