You may have noticed I’ve taken a very long break from writing over here. This was completely unintended – life got a bit crazy and I’ve been very burnt out these past few months. It feels like I’ve hardly had the space to breathe, let alone write.

In June, I was on the hunt for a new apartment, and moved into a new place at the end of the month. It was a very intensive process and a lot of stress was involved. At the beginning of July, I was still working on the process of settling in. That month, I took a big trip to BC and decided to bring my car back to ON. Upon returning in August, there was a lot of car-related issues I had to deal with and a bunch of paperwork for the ON side of things. I also was preparing for my travel season beginning in September. And in the middle of all of this, I had a lot of book signings as well.

Throughout these months, I’ve been wanting to write, but the words just haven’t been coming. It’s felt like I haven’t had a second of time to be creative and let the words flow. It’s been suffocating, to be honest. The wind in my creative sails have completely gone out and I feel stifled creatively. There is a lot I’ve wanted to do that just isn’t happening. Even writing for the blog has felt too overwhelming these past few months.

I’ve been writing on the blog here every 2-3 weeks for the past almost-decade. Since the full launch of my website in 2017, this is the first time I’ve taken a break this long. I would’ve given a heads up if I had known it would have been this many months. My last blog post was at the beginning of June – four months ago now – and even that one was a challenge for me to write. I kept telling myself I would be able to write another blog, share more, but it just hasn’t happened.

When it came to book signings, I had quite a few over the summer, but I struggled showing up for them. I felt disconnected from myself and my creativity at a lot of these signings. You may have noticed I even cancelled one in early August due to the amount of stress and burnout I was experiencing. It’s taken a much bigger toll on me, especially in the creative parts of my life, than I had anticipated. Creativity is an important part of my life, and perhaps I never realized how much, until I was drastically lacking it.

The extreme burnout I’ve been experiencing has truly sucked all the creative energy out of me. I’m still having a hard time getting it back. There’s been many moments where I thought I’d be able to do it and get back to writing. But I truly haven’t had the chance – until now.

Finally, among bits and pieces of travels over the past month, I felt like I had a moment to breathe and let some creative energy back in. I started putting some of the pieces together when I visited the Midwest in mid-September. I continued writing across multiple flights in Mexico at the end of September. In North Carolina this past week, I’ve managed to pull it all together into what you’re reading right now.

Sometimes, somehow, travelling and pushing yourself way out of your comfort zone can bring you back to life. In some ways I’m exhausted, but in others I’m invigorated. I am really glad I finally had the capacity to let some of the words flow again. I hope to be able to harness more creative energy moving forward.

However, I worry that this burnout is far from over, especially on the creative side of things. I haven’t written poetry in ages and I truly don’t know when I’ll be able to do so again. Feeling disconnected from book signings hasn’t helped either, and I’ve made the decision to take a break from signings for awhile. I likely won’t be doing any more until early 2027.

There is something a yoga instructor said in a class I was in a few weeks ago. She said something along the lines of, “sometimes we need a break – a pause – before the expansion can come.” These words have really stuck with me and I’ve felt they are especially relevant to my creative burnout right now. Perhaps, this break is needed. And the expansion, and creative energy, will come back after I’ve had time for a pause.

So that’s what has been going on in my little world. I’m going to continue taking a pause, for now, in the hopes that the words willl return in full force when they are ready. If you are also in a season of pausing right now, I invite you to lean into the pause when you can. Breathe. And trust that the expansion is coming after. ✨💫

Holding on for all of us, C.