We are finally returning to the series that I started earlier this year, all about the turbulent twenties. You can read the first and second part of the series here and here. For this third segment, I’ll be chatting a lot about health and family & friendship dynamics. Read on for more on the turbulent twenties!
Welcome to the turbulent twenties, a mini blog series. When kids are growing up, the “terrible two’s” are often referenced as they age. Well, I think there’s another equally transformative time in our lives, which I like to call the turbulent twenties. I cannot think of another time in life when you go through so many significant changes in such a condensed time period. There’s always opinions of how your twenties “should” go, but regardless of which life stages you’re moving through, they sure are turbulent. So grab a drink, pull up a seat, and let’s dive in!
Health & Aging
Our bodies change as we age. For some reason, this seems like a contentious statement, but it’s a simple fact. We all change as we age. And throughout your twenties, those changes can begin to come to the forefront. Some people notice big changes in their early twenties in comparison to when they were a teenager. Some may notice changes later in their twenties. And some might not notice them much at all. Regardless, the older you get, the more important your health is.
For me, it has sometimes been difficult to prioritize my health with all of the other conflicting priorities that feel at the forefront during your twenties. You’re telling me I need to find a decent job, save money, but also travel, but also spend time with friends, but also find time to date, and improve myself, AND take care of my body? Be so for real. No wonder the twenties are such a turbulent time.
Everyone has a different approach to how they address their health. Staying active and eating relatively healthy are essentially the baseline to preserve your health. I know I personally have struggled with this and putting my health on the backburner to prioritize other aspects of my life, but hear me when I say this: DON’T DO IT. Your health is the MOST important out of anything I’ll mention in this series. It should be treated as such. I know it’s easier said than done, but I really do try to put my health at the forefront of my decisions as much as possible. This has increased since I’ve gotten older throughout my twenties, and I’m hopeful that my thirties will provide even more of a focus on health and wellbeing.
Health includes mental health, too. I’ll be chatting a lot more about this in the next post in the series, but it’s so important to emphasize that health is not just physical. Your mental health is a huge determining factor for so many aspects of your overall health. They are all connected, and it is so important to take care of both of them. I have neglected one or both at many times throughout my twenties, but I am hoping to focus on these areas of health even more as I get older.
Now, let’s talk more about aging. For some reason, western culture is obsessed with the idea of youthfulness, beauty, and a lack of aging – especially in women. And when you are in your twenties and your body is changing, some people can feel pressured to do next to anything to maintain that youthfulness. There seems to be a pervasive fear of getting and looking older. The rise of cosmetic adjustments and facial surgery, Botox, and filler for women earlier and earlier in their twenties is a big point of concern. Navigating this ever-growing pressure as you are continuing to age and deal with everything else that is turbulent in this decade, especially health-wise, is a LOT. Know that I’m right there with you, aging is a natural process than we can embrace, and focusing on keeping our bodies healthy throughout these changes is the most important part.
Family & Friendship Dynamics
Family dynamics vary SO widely and are a massive cause of turbulence in and of themselves. However, your twenties as a decade tends to be the time when most people are moving out of their family homes for the first time, which can make it even more turbulent. No longer being in your family home means a different way of navigating your existing family dynamics. Aging also presents its own challenges. You are learning to navigate the world as an adult, and how to be in your family as an adult rather than a teenager or a child. It’s a LOT to navigate and shoots the turbulence factor through the roof!
To be honest, this is something I am still navigating myself. Living on the other side of the country is an additional layer to dealing with the already challenging dynamics of having your own life. How do I find ways to stay connected with a family that lives far away? How much time do I choose to pour into a life I left behind, versus a life I am in now? Can I balance the two and navigate the dynamics in my family, while my own life continues to change? These are all questions I grapple with often. I don’t necessarily have the answers, but I am learning that how I relate to my family has changed a lot throughout this past decade.
Your twenties are also often the time when people start creating their own families. While I am not personally at this stage, many people choose to settle down with a partner, have pets and/or kids, and really create a new family unit. This can potentially be a source of tension with the existing family unit you had in childhood. Navigating these many different changes creates a whole new level to family dynamics. I imagine these dynamics will continue changing for many into their thirties as well! Perhaps the key is to be adaptable, to know that nothing is fixed, and to do our best to embrace our changing family units over time. Time, after all, is the greatest gift.
In my opinion, friendship is the universal love, and having good friends can have a profound impact on your life. Being a friend in your twenties can be particularly challenging, especially if you have friends at different stages of their lives. They could be in school, they could be navigating a new career, they could be getting engaged, they could be married with kids. Throw moving around into the mix, and now you’ve got friends in different places, possibly different time zones. Finding a way to continue these connections is such a challenge during this tumultuous decade.
I definitely do not have all of the answers for this, as maintaining friendships is something I find to be particularly challenging. However, it is not lost on me that these challenges are perhaps the strongest during the decade of your twenties, when these major changes are taking place. I’ve lost many friends throughout this decade as I have gone through my own changes – whether personally, due to distance, or some other circumstance. I’ve also gained some wonderful friends in unexpected ways. I think the key is to knowing this decade presents a challenge, being open and showing up for your friends throughout these changes, and supporting each other during the ride.
Now, how do we maintain these connections that we have, with treasured friends and family? Navigating your own life, on top of everyone else’s, and finding time to connect with one another can sometimes feel like the biggest hurdle of all. Particularly in the midst of a decade where it feels like everything is changing. The good news is everyone is in the same boat as you! We all have to navigate the turbulent twenties. And it’s especially important to have some great people by our side as we do it. Though it may always be a bit of a challenge to make time for any aspect of life in this decade, when it comes to important relationships with friends and family, it’s worth it. 💖
Next time in our series, we’ll talk about having an identity crisis (or multiple) and the importance of asking for help. Two big factors that impact your twenties, with asking for help being one of the MOST important things to learn. Stay tuned! For now, enjoy some pics below of me edging towards my late twenties at 27 and 28. 😀
